no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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