Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
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