I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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