how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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