It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
