North Korea, Best Korea!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Brb crying the tears of my youth
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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