Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Still dying that you shit outside
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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