I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
