First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
