Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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