I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
