Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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