I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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