I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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