Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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