champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
