He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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