how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
