I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
