I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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