I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
