Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was like eating out sand paper
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I will be naked everywhere
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
