mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
