seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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