He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
