gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
