Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
