Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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