He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
