i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
