I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
