Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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