Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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