Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
