i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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