You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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