You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
