Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
