At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize