i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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