Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
