Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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