Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i out mim tonsoeep
I think I just sharted jello shots
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize