I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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