In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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