Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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