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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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