Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
this is an emotional support booty call
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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