he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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