"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
