I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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