she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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