hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
