In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
