Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
