Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
