next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
