whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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