I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you inspire me to be a worse person
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize