I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You're like the curious george of whores
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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