He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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