turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
