Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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