dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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