Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
