we have pet lesbian snakes
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
