wat bout pragnant strippers??
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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