I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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