I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
