dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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