hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
